Disgusted and Distrusted
by DeliciouslyAddicted
Summary: As Natsu is torn apart piece by piece, suddenly his world falls to ashes. Lucy...


**And someday, I hope that my sadness will be replaced by something beautiful.**

_**{I think I'm moving but I go nowhere… but I've become what I can't be}**_

"Natsu! Natsu!" Her voice rang in his ears, forcing him to shake his head to get rid of the memory. He walked along the pathway to the Guildhall, constantly glancing down at the raggedy, old bracelet on his wrist. He smiled weakly as he remembered the day Lucy had gave it to him.

"_Natsu!" She smiled warmly as she turned to him, her hands placed behind her back. He looked at her in awe, his best friend stunning. She inched closer to him, so close he could feel her breath near his face. He leaned closer, expecting her lips to fall into place on his. But instead he heard her whispering, _

"_Natsu, I made you something." She handed him a tiny box wrapped loosely with old newspaper. Though rather disappointed about where things went, he opened the box with a spark of excitement. He seperated the lid from the box and marveled at what was inside._

"_Lucy, this is awesome!" He grabbed the bracelet and attempted to tie around his wrist. Lucy took the bracelet, gently brushing his skin with her hands as she tied the knot with ease._

"_I'm glad you like it. It took me an hour to make."_

He frowned. He made haste to the hall, somehow knowing that he should've been there by now. He cracked open the front door and slid inside. He was greeted with small laughter and dreary faces. His small happiness that he just had had disappeared in an instant. People glanced in his general direction, but quickly avoiding his gaze once he saw them looking.

"Hey." Natsu mumbled to Mirajane as he slumped into one of the bar chairs. He propped his face up with one of his fists, the other falling lamely onto the bar.

"Hi Natsu." She said in a monotone. She carefully shifted herself away from Natsu, hoping that he wouldn't notice.

"How's Lucy doing?" Natsu froze and Mirajane immediately regretted saying anything. His expression was neutral, but by how taut his body was, one could tell how hard talking about Lucy was.

"She's doing...fine." He said in a hesitant voice. He knew that everyone blamed him. He would blame him too. He awkwardly stood up, slowly moving away from the bar and making his way to the other side of the room. Gray spotted him moving closer and quickly found a distraction, hoping to make Natsu go away. It didn't work.

"Gray!" Natsu shouted. Everyone in the hall stopped what they were doing and turned to Natsu. Gray blushed slightly, staring straight ahead. Natsu punched him in the arm. Gray stood up, his head hanging low, both of his hands on the table.

"Fight me!" Natsu shouted. Gray cautiously turned his head to Natsu. Once their eyes met, Gray said sternly but quietly,

"No." Natsu shot glares at him, tears pricking in the corners of his eyes.

"What do you mean," Natsu's voice cracked, "no? Let's fight! Like the old times!" Gray shook his head this time, placing a stiff hand onto Natsu's shoulder.

"No Natsu." Natsu banged his fist on the table.

"Fight me!" He shouted once more, sobs leaking their way into his words. Quietly he mumbled,

"Please." He fell to his knees and cried. He couldn't take it anymore, he needed everyone to understand.

"I want Lucy back!" He wailed, his voice echoing off the walls of the large hall. He sat there and wept into his hands. On his knees, he sat there, crying but no one got up to comfort him, no one cared for this man.

"Go away Natsu." Gray said coldly. Natsu's head shot up, surprised by his friend's remark.

"G-go away?" He asked in a slight whisper. Gray's eyes said it all. Natsu slowly rose up from his fragile position and left. He glanced behind him once he was out of the door frame. Evil looks and disgusted whispered were shot at him. He shut the door behind him, his knees feeling like they would fail him at any given moment.

"Natsu?" Someone asked in front of him. His eyes tore away from the door and onto this person. It was Erza. He looked at her with hope in his eyes, thinking there would be sympathy there. But there was only the look of anger.

"Yes?" He asked quietly.

"Lucy's dead." His world stopped. Everything was falling apart. Everyone turned against him. The sun seeped into blackness, his hands shrunk in front of him. The world felt like it had crashed onto his shoulders, he fell from the weight. Erza kicked him out of the way, this cruelness stabbing him in his withering heart. It was his fault. This was his fault. She's dead and it's his fault.

"Why?" He asked himself. He muttered this to himself, increasingly getting louder and angrier with each breath. He rampaged down the path, storming his way to Lucy's house. She can't be dead. With each step, his anger bled into sadness. She can't be dead. She isn't dead.

He knows she isn't dead. Once he arrived at Lucy's house, he opened the window and climbed in, because he didn't have a key to the front door. They wouldn't give him one. He landed in the bedroom, looking around frantically. Then he saw her.

"Lucy?" He asked into the open air. He saw her hands limps against her chest, her eyes closed with a delicacy. He tiptoed over to her, careful not to wake her up.

"You're just sleeping right?" He asked, though he knew perfectly well that she wasn't even breathing.

"Yeah, I know you are." He smiled at her cold body as he sat down on the bed beside her, gently placing her head on his lap. He stroked her long hair while he looked at her fine mouth. He closed the gap between them, brushing his lips against hers. He leaned back to look at her face again. Nothing.

"Come on Lucy. You have to wake up now." He said like a child. Tears streamed down his face, plopping onto her cheeks. He shoke her a little.

"Lucy." He wept. He grabbed both of her hands into his, trying to warm the chill of death.

"Lucy, _please._" He begged. After a few minutes of hugging her body, he let go. He set her back down onto her bed. He stood up, now feeling nothing and everything at the same time, and walked away. With every heartbeat, his head throbbed. With every footstep, his chest ached. With every tear that fell down his face, his life was slipping out of his hands, dripping between his fingers. He walked out the front door and closed the door. He walked on and on, knowing that if he stopped, everything else would fall apart and rip him wide open.

He then collasped.

He looked around and found that his feet brought him near the harbor. On the sone peir, his body rested on one of the benches underneath the trees. His feet took him all the way to the place where he first met Lucy.

He watched the sun set slowly behind the horizon, nestling in the beautiful colors of the sky. He stayed there long after the sun disappeared and watched the moon rise and fall, watched the stars twinkle lightly against the darkened sky. He knew that Lucy was now amongst the rest of the sky, her beautiful spirit twinkiling, gazing down upon him. He gave the sky the tiniest of smiles and fell asleep.

**Author's note:**

**Hello hello. Sorry for not writing in a looooooooooong while but I wanted to write another story so walah! There you go. (I also want to apologize for my writing, I'm a little rusty, so if you see something that doesn't make sense, sorry)**

**~Thanks for reading! Please review! :3~**


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